How a Kiwi helps in bed

So I'm online chatting with friends and catching up after the few days everyone is gone for the holidays. I am still feeling frustrated from all the stuff going on and I need to work off some steam ;). I mention to the few friends that I'm talking to that I'm tired but that I'm waiting up for John in hopes of getting some :P. He was downstairs trying to figure out why he couldn't get Quake 4 to run on his computer and you all know how techies are when faced with a problem...they must solve it at any cost, no matter how long it takes.

My friend Jess (from New Zealand) feels for me since she herself has not had any in awhile and thinks I've waited long enough. She messages John and tries to convince him to get upstairs and do me. She then calls him on the phone and *talks* to him for a bit, if you know Jess you know that sexy Kiwi accent has a positive effect on men. As soon as she hangs up with him she calls me and we start giggling about the things she's said to him. He messages me online and say "Oh my, I don't remember the last time I've eaten a Kiwi" and I break out in a hysterical fit...yes I have a dirty mind ;). Not two minutes later he's up here in bed with this huge smile on his face. I lie next to him and as I'm still talking to Jess he starts fondling..I go quiet and she says "I can't believe it took two long distance phone calls to get you guys together" I giggle and go quiet again cause by this time he's got me half way undressed. She says "ok, I'm gonna let you go now before you start moaning and I get sexually frustrated".

Thanks Jess, you're my hero :p