Friday, March 30, 2007

The LOVE cheeseburger

The other day while driving past the McDonald's across the street from the high school I attended a memory was triggered, don't know what my mom and I were discussing but I giggled out loud and she asked what was funny. I began the story of the LOVE cheeseburger.

I made lots of friends my freshman year, most of which were juniors and seniors because my cousin was a senior. After my cousin graduated as did all his friends I was kind of alone since I hadn't made many friends in my own grade. When Amber got there (she went to the same grammar school but was one year behind) we started to hang out and she became my best friend. We were inseparable, we dressed, talked and even did our hair the same and when we weren't together we were on the phone for hours on end.

Anyway, since she was a freshman while I was a sophomore we didn't know the same people. It was a very big school (roughly 4,000 students). She introduced me to a friend of hers who was in one of her classes, his name is Paul and he was a really great guy. He started hanging out with us at lunchtime and we were like the three musketeers for awhile. I don't remember how exactly, I believe Paul introduced us to Rey but he was a junior and he started hanging out with us, so we became the four amigos. We'd walk across the street and have lunch at McDonald's most days. I always ordered a side salad, diet coke and a cheeseburger. One day, I wasn't very hungry so I cut the cheeseburger into 4 and told everyone they had to eat their share of the LOVE cheeseburger, it became out lil tradition everyday, we thought it was cute.

Eventually, Paul confided in me that he cared for Amber more than just a friend. This normally wouldn't have been a problem except that Rey told me the very same thing. Ughhh, what to do? If that wasn't enough, I had developed very strong feelings for Rey. Talk about craziness huh?

Amber didn't feel anything but friendship for either of them so we were all kinda taking it day by day until it got to the point where Paul just couldn't deal with it anymore and started to distance himself from us. He hung out with other people at lunchtime so one forth of the LOVE cheeseburger ended up in the garbage after that. We all hurt because he wasn't there but we couldn't do anything about it.

One day he walked into McDonald's with his other friends and I called him over, I handed him his part of the LOVE cheeseburger on a napkin and gave it to him. He took it, thanked me and then walked off. None of us talked the rest of our lunch period that day, we were all thinking the same thing I'm sure...why do feelings have to change things, why can't things be back to the way they used to be?

In the meantime, wanting Rey to be happy because I loved him so much, I convinced Amber to give him a chance. This took everything I had to do but she did and he was happy. Of course, I was not so happy but I tried very hard to be. I continued to hang out with them but as you can imagine it was hard. Amber finally figured out how I felt about Rey and it made her uncomfortable (not that I blame her) so our friendship changed.

Rey was kind of wishy washy and made it very difficult for me because he'd say things and do things to lead me on and I just couldn't deal with it anymore so I removed myself from the situation, from my friends. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I was depressed all of junior year, cried a lot and wrote lots of really dark poetry. Senior year was not much better, I went into "I don't give a shit" mode and made really bad choices but it turned out ok.

I think that whole experience was a turning point for me. It's definitely not one of the things I'd go back and change if I could, even as much as it hurt me it made me look at love in a whole new light.

I can smile now when I think of the LOVE cheeseburger.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, its amazing how you remember things like that. I remember recently taking a trip down memory lane myself. Although, at first it was a pleasant sight, it began to make me really sad. But I am glad that you found your reappreciation for the LOVE cheeseburger.

12:23 AM  
Blogger The Witch Doctor said...

There was a group of four of us that would go down to the pizzeria when we could for lunch in highschool. For two dollars you could get a huge slice of pizza and a drink. Since we were usually pretty broke we would share, one time two of us would pay and get the slices cut again so that we had four pieces and the next time the other two would pay. We only did it one year because as you pointed out in your post friendships are ever changing really and sometimes and sometimes they only walk with you for awhile.

4:10 AM  

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