Cry

I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
And ended too soon

You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed

In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

It was late in september
And I've seen you before
You were always the cold one
But i was never that sure

You were all by yourself
Staring at a dark gray sky
I was changed

In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

I wanted to hold you
i wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to make your everything, all right....

I'll always remember...
It was late afternoon...

In places no one would find...
All your feelings so deep inside
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

Against all odds

We are struggling through these changes but were not doing it together. I think I'm trying too hard to get it to where I know it can be and you are trying to keep it to where you think it's safe. If we weren't so sensitive about everything and we actually talked about things that we feel as they come up it might be better than what it is right now. You've closed up so I push a little here you pull back a little there and we both get frustrated with the other. You're trying, I see that...I'm trying too. Extreme patience and communication is probably the only way this friendship is going to survive. Let's find the balance together, I know we can.

Words from within

I just wanted to take a few minutes this morning to say a few words that are in my heart and have been on my mind the past few days. I know that I don't vocalize alot of my feelings to the people I care about but I do want them to know that they are important to me. My friends, to whom I sometimes don't get to talk to as often as I'd like but when I do it still feels like just yesterday. You know who you are..... in no particular order ;).

Monette an Chris, you are both very near and dear to my heart. I know you've had a deep loss and a rough week in general my thoughts have been with you Moon.

Shannon, you too are going through a rough time with your mom being ill and lots of changes in your life. Everything will fall into place and your mom is in my prayers hon.

"It is an act of courage to acknowledge our own uncertainty and sit with it for awhile."

Amanda, I feel you sweety, I understand. You are so special. I don't know that you can actually grasp just how amazing you really are.

Rae, you never cease to amaze me woman. I'm so proud of you. You have shown not only the strength I knew was in you but also the self love that came along with it. I can see the difference, your on your path to happiness.

"The struggle for one's self is not easy and demands the development of inner strength and self-conviction. It comes with love."

Jenn and Les, I can't express how much joy it brings me to watch you both in love. It makes the little things not so important anymore.

Jess, you are probably one of the most remarkable women I've ever met. Your struggling with changes too and you know that I'm here for you.

"Fear becomes an ally which whispers that we are coming to our edge, to unplumbed depths, to the space in which all growth occurs."

Jamie C. your time has come, your crossroad is here. Change is good, it always is. I'm confident that the decisions you make are the right ones and you will get to where you're going. I have no doubt about it.

Paul, make the good things happen babe. Your always in my thoughts even when I don't know that you're there.

"We always attract into our lives whatever we think about most, believe in most strongly, expect on the deepest level and imagine most vividly."

Jamie S. your a light in the dark even when you try not to shine.

I'll stop rambling now.

MIA

I'm sure someone noticed I was gone ;). Last week was not so good for me. I wasn't sleeping but this time it was because of a monster migraine that just didn't want to go away. It lasted the entire week and actually made me really sick. To make matters worse my back hurt like hell, I almost overdosed on pain meds. I have a slipped disc which seems to act up when I'm swollen. I was PMS'ng big time which made me not a nice person to be around so you didn't miss much trust me.

The kids are in the full swing of school now, and really the only one being slightly difficult is Joshua (which is to be expected I suppose... he's a teenager afterall). Could be worse so I'll not complain. Mornings are going smoother than expected (I really shouldn't ginx that by saying it out loud).

I've been keeping myself busy with an ARG (Alternate Reality Game) called Project Gateway, which just began a few weeks ago. Check it out if you get the chance www.immersionunlimited.com. There are several new ARG's about to start soon. It's a fun way to keep your mind active and meet nice people. I really like it. Other than that nothing too exciting to report.

One week down

The first week back to school for the kids went by with just a few hitches. I got a parking ticket the first day and they were late because they missed the school bus on the second day. Other then that I got the typical nightly whining about having to go to bed early and the not so wonderful stress of trying to wake them up in the morning.

I had forgotten how much I appreciated weekends until this week. LOL

We've started something different this school year, after dinner all the kids have to sit at the dining room table to do homework. Whether they have any or not they still have to sit there and do something. The little ones are not happy about that since they really don't get any real homework just yet. I'm sure that after a few more weeks they'll get used to homework time and learn to enjoy and appreciate it. The reason for the change? Jonathan needs continuity in order to function...he gets sidetracked very easily so a daily routine is necessary. This change is a bit difficult on me too because I'm so used to everyone going on after dinner doing their own thing including myself. It seems to be working well though. I'm also going to incorporate one library day a week into this new routine which will probably be wednesdays since the library is open late.

Tal Vez

So I'm sitting here still unable to sleep even though I'm completely exhausted. Not to mention that the kids will be up in 3 hours to start the new school year. Oh yeah...YAY, can you feel the excitement? I'll probably end up spending most of my morning at the school as you can tell I'm so looking forward to this week ;).

Tal vez será que por ahora ya no hay nada que hablar y esta vez necesitamos tiempo para pensar. Y yo por mi parte propongo intentarlo de nuevo volver a empezar que por más que lo pienso no encuentro una sola razón para seguir sin tí.

On a happier note...We had a really nice Labor Day BBQ at my uncle's house. The kids really enjoyed themselves as did I, we don't get to see alot of my family all that often anymore. Everyone keeps moving away from the city. Can't blame them, you get more house for your buck in the suburbs.

Alright, I'm gonna try to close my eyes one more time...this headache seems to be getting worse. If I'm lucky I can get a few hours in.

Sin ti nada es igual

"Nadie Más Que Tu"

No hizo falta nada más
Fue tan suficiente verlo en tu mirada
Clara como cristal

Me enseñsate a ver la luz
Cuando dentro de mi alma se apagaban
Mis ganas de continuar

Como si me conocieras de otra vida
Vas antecediendo todos mis instintos
Sin medida

Nadie más que tú
Sabe adivinar a donde voy
Nadie pudo descubrir
Lo que yo realmente soy

Nadie más que tú
Ha sembrado paz en mi interior
Hizo renacer mi fe
Para ver más allá del sol

Cuando amanece y tu no estás
Toda mi energía fluye diferente
Sin ti nada es igual

Mis secretos se revelan en tus brazos
Y mis días se reducen a tu espacio
Y voy cayendo poco a poco porque

Nadie más que tu
Sabe adivinar a donde voy
Nadie pudo descubrir
Lo que yo realmente soy
Nadie más que tu
Que ha sembrado paz en mi interior
Hizo renacer mi fe Para ver más allá del sol

Como si me conocieras de otra vida...
Vas antecediendo todos mis instintos...

Nadie mas que tu nadie más que tú..
Lo que realmente soy
Nadie más, nadie más Nadie más que tu
Hizo renacer mi fe Para ver mas allá del sol

Más alla del sol Es que nadie, nadie, nadie no...
Nadie más que tú
Nadie más pudo hacer
Hizo renacer mi fe Para ver más alla del sol

I suck...get your mind outta the gutter ;)

What do you do when push comes to shove?

I'm the one shoving....never thought of myself as the bully.

Alright, I'm gonna think about that for awhile, see what I can figure out.