Judas

Is simplicity best
Or simply the easiest
The narrowest path
Is always the holiest
So walk on barefoot for me
Suffer some misery
If you want my love

Man will survive
The harshest conditions
And stay alive
Through difficult decisions
So make up your mind for me
Walk the line for me
If you want my love

Idle talk
And hollow promises
Cheating Judases
Doubting Thomases
Don't just stand there and shout it
Do something about it

You can fulfill
Your wildest ambitions
And I'm sure you will
Lose your inhibitions
So open yourself for me
Risk your health for me
If you want my love

My Life Is Brilliant

Ok...so my sewer backed up last night and I've been cleaning the basement. The plumber will be here between noon and 1pm today. I've filled two contractor bags of stuff that is going to have be thrown out now. Not too much of a loss, it wasn't anything important. I really do hope it's nothing serious. After it's fixed I'm gonna have the wonderful job up getting up all the nasty smelling water and then mopping the whole basement with clorox. It's absolutely disgusting.

Update: $150 later it's all fixed...and they showed up at 5pm

Put it all together and you get...

Sometimes there's a part of me that has to turn from here and go

I saw it written and I saw it say Pink moon is on its way
I wanna see you dance again because I'm still in love with you
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying
You're half of the flesh and blood that makes me whole
Stilted conversations, I'm afraid that's all we've got
And though he never would wave goodbye, you could see it written in his eyes
Smell the sea and feel the sky, let your soul and spirit fly
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
Whistling tunes we hide in the dunes by the seaside
I know how you feel inside, I've been there before
They can't turn off my feelings like they're turning off the light
T'was hard the woeful words to frame, To break the ties that bound us
Favoured rhymes to find hope, In the sands of life
With your hands held in mine, I'd be sure we'd not sever
Are you looking for answers for reasons under the stars
Nobody knows what I feel inside, all I know is I walked away and cried

Forever Yours, Faithfully

...*cough*Bullshit*cough*

I hope you Dance

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small
When you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give fate a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance

Time is a wheel in constant motion always
Rolling us along
Tell me who
Wants to look back on their youth and wonder
Where those years have gone

Promise me you'll give fate a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance

Oh what a night

Last night was great...no it was more than great! We went to a very nice bar and hung out, we were dancing and having lots of fun. The kissing and hugging went on all night. It was as special to them as it was to me. After the bar closed at 3am we went to my cousin's new apartment and hung out there another two hours, it was after 5:30am when I finally got home and my hips were killing me but it was so worth it.

Some really good news on a Monday

I'm so excited, 2 of my cousins are flying in from FL on friday night. We're planning on hanging out saturday night and I just can't wait! It'll be 8 cousins getting together, that 's not too bad considering there are about 65 of us first cousins and we were all really close growing up except for a few that live in PR.

I'll take pics and post them :P

Set it Off

Things seem so hallucinary,
In the corners of my mind they scare me,
I know ya never meant to desert me,
Just like ya never really meant to hurt me

Then I ask have you ever felt abandoned?
Felt so lost that you were stranded,
Just like all the walls are closing in
And you were left inside
Have you ever felt like your days were numbered?
Stuck under a tree in thunder
Seems to be no way out
But there is One when in doubt

Why?
When you feel like you can't fly
You gotta know I got the answer for ya baby,
Drives ya crazy, it's not over
Theres so much more to life then this

and you ask Why?

A really odd dream

Funny thing is I remember the whole thing....

It starts out with me at my friend Amber's house sitting around the table with her family and everyone is just finishing up eating dinner. All of a sudden I'm sitting in the center of the table holding a knife and a jicama...explaining to them how good it is and what it tastes like. As I'm peeling and slicing it I end up eating most of it except for a part that looks like it went bad, the bad part tasted like red wine vinegar says Amber's sister and father who both are now really pissed at me for eating the whole thing. So Amber and I leave to go to the store around the corner to buy some more jicama.

When we get to the store we pick out three very large ones, bigger than I've ever seen them before (like 3 or 4 times bigger) they're in clear plastic produce bags with the price sticker on them. Amber wanders off to look at other stuff and I go by the meat and pick out a small package of ground beef. We meet at the cashier and pay for our things. We walk back to her place and we sit at the table and I peel and slice one of the huge jicamas and put it on a plate and everyone eats it all up. Then I look at the price sticker on the empty produce bag and I say..OMG Amber did you really pay $22.36 for this one jicama and then I look at the other two still in the bags and they're both priced about the same. She turns to me and say no, you paid for them and I say no I didn't, the only thing I paid for was the meat. So now we're looking at eachother going..oh shit we stole the jicamas.

So I grab one of the jicamas and we set off to return to pay for them. When we get there..I walk up to the girl at the register and for some reason the words won't come out..and then without even thinking about it I say "can we exchange this because it's too soft" the girl says no you can't so I walk back over to the meat section and pick out another pack of meat and pay for it and leave (where was Amber during this whole time I don't know) but we get back to her house again and when I take the meat out of the bag it looks really weird, not at all like the first package I bought, I cut it open and the piece of meat looked like a small animal (just the body) but the fat on the meat formed kind of a tail.

What on earth could this dream possibly mean?

Hold Me Now

I have a picture, pinned to my wall.
An image of you and of me and we're laughing we're loving it all.
But look at our life now. We're tattered and torn.
We fuss and we fight and we lie in the tears that we cry until dawn.

Hold me now, warm my heart.
Stay with me, let loving start, let loving start.

You say I'm a dreamer, we're two of a kind.
Both of us searching for some perfect world we know we'll never find.
So perhaps I should leave here, yeah yeah go far away.
But you know there's no where I'd rather be than with you here today.

Hold me now, warm my heart.
Stay with me, let loving start, let loving start.

You ask if I love you, well what can I say?
You know that I do and that this is just one of those games that we play.
So I'll sing you a new song. Please don't cry anymore.
I'll ask for forgiveness though I don't know just what I'm asking you for.

Even my soul is tired

This is one of those weekends when I appreciate people like Monette and Chris even more than usual. Taking care of John's son Justin and his mom is a full time job for anyone....it's exhausting especially when we're both not feeling well. It's different for us because it's family but you guys do it for strangers. The way you care and nurture these helpless individulas like you do is amazing. Sure you get paid for it and you've chosen it as your profession but you do it with such joy and love. I'm sure that there are many who do this as their "job" with contempt in their hearts just as there are people who care for family members and are negative about the experience. I don't want to be that way.

I am blessed to have such wonderful friends and excellent role models in you both. I hope that I can care for them even half as good as you do for your clients. I'm feeling somewhat overwhelmed and stressed, hopefully it will pass.

When I'm gone

There's another world inside of me that you may never see
There's secrets in this life that I can't hide
Well somewhere in this darkness there's a light that I can't find
Well maybe it's too far away
Or maybe I'm just blind
Maybe I'm just blind

So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could

I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone

When your education x-ray cannot see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing that I could not tell my friends
Roaming through this darkness, I'm alive but I'm alone
And part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone

Say goodbye to the Pig and the Cow

I'm cooking alot of meatless food now that John's mom lives with us. She can't have pork or red meat because of her gout being so bad. She wasn't able to walk for over a week. So it's basically chicken and seafoood that I have to work with...which is soooo hard for me. I don't eat seafood (don't look at me like that!) and what is it like to be Puerto Rican and not eat pork? Lemme tell ya it's not natural ;). I was never much for red meat anyhow but I like it every now and again and I use ground beef alot too so now I'll have to substitute ground turkey for those dishes. We'll all get used to it. I'll still make pork chops and steak every now and again and just grill her some salmon or butter/garlic shrimp in it's place. I guess I'm going to have to look up some new recipes.

Tonight I made manicotti (stuffed with ricotta and spinach), cesear salad and garlic cheese bread. It was really good but I wanted a New York Strip Steak :P.

Dia de los Reyes

Everybody got their boxes of hay/grass ready? Tonight before bed make sure you put them under your bed so the Three Kings will leave you a present. The camels will eat up all the hay/grass and be very happy. This is a Puerto Rican tradition http://www.elboricua.com/losreyes.html that the kids love almost as much as Christmas. Well why not, they get a gift eh? My kids have their boxes all decorated and can't wait. What worked out real well this year is having the guinea pigs here for winter break...I have two lil munch buggers to eat up all that Timothy Hay.

A few days in...

and already positive changes.

John will be finding out very soon, as early as today if he will be getting a new job. It's a good opportunity for him and he'll be working with a very good friend of his if he does. He is going to miss all the days off and especially spring, summer and winter breaks that he gets from the school board though....but he'd be making more money so the trip to New Zealand next year is more conceivable. YAY!!

John's mom and aunt are now living with us. This in itself is alot more responsibility on me and us as a family as his mom is not very healthy but we are happy she is here because she needs to be around the kids now more than ever as they are her only source of happiness. The kids are pleased to have them here and are actually behaving better.

I have a feeling that this year is going to be a good one ;)

Green Apples

You're toast and jam
And you're cotton candy
You're double rainbows beside a setting sun
You're wood burnin' outside, there's a fire growin'
You're sweet as green apples, You must be the one

You bring me to the heart of a golden man
You bring me to the natural truth
You take me to a solid hollow
And keep me sailing this ocean of youth

So take me to an altar of diamonds
And run with me through sheets of jungle rain
Show me all your manly mystery
And let me heal your beautiful pain

Be my island In crowds of faces..my oasis
Be there.. Lead me to the holy water
Introduce me to the place you are from
Wherever you go you know I will follow
So take me there and I will come

New Years Pics

Ringing in 2006

My whole family over last night and I cooked a traditional Puerto Rican New Year's Eve feast which included the main dishes of Pernil http://www.elboricua.com/pernil_RChef.html and arroz con gandules http://www.elboricua.com/RicanChef_Arroz%20Con%20Gandules.htm. After we ate we sat around and watched tv and talked, just enjoyed eachothers company. The kids were calm and just extremely happy to have everyone here.

As it got closer to midnight we prepared by getting out the glasses, bubbly, grape juice for the kids and all the party stuff. The entire living room was filled with helium balloons and we had noise makers, party hats, streamers and poppers, blowers...the works. We started the count down and the kids were ready to make lots of noise and a whole lot of mess. We had a blast. We scared the crap out of the dogs and guinea pigs though...all this went on for over 10 minutes afterwards the kids took to sucking the helium out of the balloons and got a kick out of sounding like drunken chipmunks. My brothers even helped me clean up *shocked face*.

All in all it was a perfect night in my book...makes up for the events of Christmas weekend. I hope you all had a great New Year.

Christmas Pics